I had a bit of a meltdown the other week. I came home from BlogOn feeling really inspired. I’d learned a lot and I also came away with the reassurance that I was doing a good job and that I could take my blog further if I wanted to. But, I also felt a little lost. Blogging, like anything else in life, takes a lot of time and hard work to become successful. If you want it to be a full-time job, you need to commit full-time hours. And while I’m not in it for fame and fortune, I do enjoy the feeling or earning money and gaining opportunities from something that I love and is just mine.
But, the thing is, I don’t have the time to give it full-time attention. Yes, I work from home. But, we can’t afford for me not to work. So, I spend a lot of my week writing for other people, to earn money. I’d love to give my blog that time, to help it grow. But I can’t until it’s earning enough money. But it won’t make enough unless I give it the time. So, feeling stuck and lost I without real conscious thought, tried to do everything. I tried to blog full time, work part-time, look after the kids, do all of the housework and generally be everything. And I broke. I cried at husband that I was failing and I couldn’t do it.
Then, I went for a swim and had a good think and decided to slow down. There’s no rush. Bobsy will one-day start school, and I can start to do more. Until then, I will enjoy my blog and see what happens. Without pressure or plan.
Then husband fell down the stairs and crippled himself, so I spent a week driving him about and looking after everyone, working from 6am until 10pm and generally being super mum, but weirdly, this calmed me. You know when autopilot and mummy genes kick in, and you just cope because you have to? So, I’m still happy!
Bobsy is so loving going to the childminders. She goes off quite happily and really enjoys her time there. It also gives me more time to work, which is great. I’m even managing to go for a quick swim on Tuesdays. It’s only 10 hours a week, over 2 days, but it’s made my life much easier, and Bobsy loves getting to play with other kids.
The Boy is loving school this year. He’s learning so much. He sits telling me all about things I’ve never even heard of.
One day a few weeks ago he had said something about girls not being very good at video games, and I’d given him the “Girls are good at everything!!!” talk. Then, last Saturday he was telling me about Dame Ellen MacArthur. They’ve been learning about explorers, sailors, and famous boats. He was telling me all about her, from when she started saving for her first boat, to all of her records. I simply said, “she’s a girl you know” and it all clicked for him, girls can be whatever they want to be, just like boys.
He’s also started swimming lessons again, which I’m really grateful to his Dad for. He’d had some before and struggled, which knocked his confidence. But, I always have to take Bobsy, so can’t really give him the attention he needs. His dad has started taking him, it’s their thing, and he loves it. I can’t wait to take him so he can show off!
Husband is lovely. Always. It’s our wedding anniversary soon, but he’s always lovely.
For our anniversary, we’re having a week off. I haven’t had a week off for over a year. I’m self-employed so I don’t get holiday pay! We’ve both freed up a whole week. The boy is at school, so we’re just getting two nights in York at the end of it, but I’m just looking forward to a week of not working.
I’ve always been a big reader, but haven’t had as much time for it in the last few years (bloody kids). I actually managed to finish a book last week, which is amazing!
I’ve also been looking at lots of cookbooks to check out the photography. I feel like that’s one area of my blog that could do with some work, so I’ve been having fun reading and practicing.
My in-laws live in France for some of the year. So, the last few years, when they’ve gone (literally the day after!) we’ve stolen their hoover. Ours was on its last legs (for three years!!). However, I’ve bought a new one this year, so our normal loot was unnecessary.
Instead, we’ve borrowed a Le Creuset pot…I didn’t steal this one; I made husband ask!! My God, with the possible exception of Husband and my MacBook, it’s the best thing they’ve ever provided me with. I now have a “camera fund” (7p so far) and a “fancy cookware fund”!
An Awesome Blog Week
As I said at the start of this post, I’d decided to be a bit more relaxed and just see what happened with my blog. And my, what happened! A little ago, after a year of saying “I don’t want a niche, I’ll write what I want!”, I realised I’d inadvertently fallen into a niche. I like food. I love trying new recipes and inventing my own. I love eating, and I love writing about food. Making cooking fun and creating recipes for families is what I feel passionate about. So, I got a new logo and started making things a little more foodie.
To start with, I lost readers. Which I expected. Then, things started to pick up. this week, I’ve had days with more views than my best weeks previous. What were amazingly good days, are now the worst. It’s not all about viewing figures, but it’s a nice way to see how well you are doing and I’m ecstatic.